"I'm super serial."

It has come to my attention that this last Saturday evening those faithful to the Church of Global Warming were requested and required to power down for 60 minutes between 8:30PM and 9:30PM local time. I left my lights on and watched T.V. during those hours because like many Americans, I don’t give a crap. Why don’t I give a crap? Why do I hate mother Earth so much that I can’t be bothered to switch off my television, my computer, my server, the 100 watt incandescent light bulbs, my refrigerator, and the electric heating units in my domicile? The simple answer to that question is that it would not actually accomplish anything.

The Church of Global Warming is like any other religion. It asks the faithful to waste time and effort doing something completely pointless for no other reason than to feel good about oneself. Now there’s nothing wrong with doing something stupid to feel good about oneself. I think every person can be easily found guilty of this. The problem I have with Earth Hour is that it’s a P.R. campaign that states “Your light switch is your vote.” Excuse me? A vote? I wasn’t aware of an election going on here. Suddenly it’s no longer an exercise of the faithful to do something to make them feel good about themselves. It’s now a means for these environmental zealots to push forth their agenda upon the rest of us. They want policies. They want more regulation. They want to force me to turn off my lights when they do “for the greater good.”

The funny thing about all of this is the hypocrisy of it all. Environmentalists often want you to make sacrifices that they themselves aren’t willing to make. Prince Charles has spent the better part of a year traveling from country to country on his private jet whining and crying about global warming. Dude, you’re in no position to cast the first stone of enviro-guilt. You are an inbred aristocrat that has done little to nothing of significance with your life. How much is the electric bill at Buckingham Palace by the way? I imagine it’s quite a bit higher than the bill for the little split level townhome where I currently reside. Al Gore, the biggest environmental celebrity evah, burns up more fossil fuels in one year than I do in a decade. His carbon footprint is like Bigfoot wearing clown shoes. Al Gore is the Ted Haggard of the Church of Global Warming. He’ll talk the talk, but walking the walk is another story altogether. He didn’t even shut off all of the lights for his mansion during the hallowed Earth Hour. If Al Gore, the high priest of the Church of Global Warming is not concerned enough with his own carbon footprint to make significant lifestyle changes, then I hardly see why the rest of us should.

This Earth Hour is another publicity stunt to “raise awareness” of global warming. Just like the Live Earth concerts, this won’t really accomplish anything. Even if man made global warming were a serious threat, simply shutting out your lights for 60 minutes would hardly have any long-term benefit. The whole purpose of this pointlessness is to “raise awareness.” After all, since the economy has gone into the drink, global warming has taken a backseat in the media spotlight. People are more concerned with their evaporating 401K plans than the melting of polar ice. There are real and immediate concerns affecting everyone in the nation. Global warming is just not that important any longer, which means the acolytes of the Global Warming Church need to drum up more hysteria. They need to bleat louder that the sky is falling in order to draw people’s attention away from the fact that they’re broke. The tax dollars for environmental subsidies have already been spent, but they still need good P.R. to convince people that their hard-earned and easily appropriated money is being pissed away for a good cause.