The Great White Hype

This guy has been dead for quite a while.

The first article I penned for this blog site was written the day after President Obama’s Inauguration. In this article I ridiculed the absurd amount of pomp and circumcision surrounding this event. After all, the inauguration of yet another political opportunist is hardly cause for so many people to be so celebratory. I understand that it was the first time a black man was elected to the office of President, and I understand it marked the end of the increasingly depressing Bush Administration, but this inauguration was hardly the mark of a new era. As a matter of fact, the only discernible difference I can see between the Obama and the Bush Administrations so far is that the Obama Administration is more expensive. After the inauguration, I didn’t think it was possible for the news media to be hyped into such a frenzy again. I was wrong.

Unless you’ve spent the last couple of weeks living in a cave, you already know that Michael Jackson, the self-proclaimed King Of Pop, has popped one too many and has gone to the Great Moonwalk In The Sky. I have never been a Michael Jackson fan. I grew up in the ’80s when everyone was losing their minds over Thriller and Beat It. I wasn’t all that impressed really. Maybe it was because we didn’t have cable at my house, so I wasn’t exposed to MTV to the same degree as my peers. I just was never into him. During the 90′s, Jackson’s career was on a steady downward spiral which was accelerated by allegations of child molestation and Jackson’s increasingly odd behavior.

At the risk of being Politically Incorrect and speaking ill of the dead, Michael Jackson was a freak. Considering his upbringing, it was inevitable. Being verbally and physically abused as a child, growing up in the spotlight, and not ever facing the normal character-building challenges that foster maturity contributed greatly to the fact that he was one screwed-up sick pup. Although the child molestation charges were dropped, the $22 million worth of hush money paid to the Chandler family obviously stoked suspicions. Even if Michael did not sexually abuse Jordan Chandler, something happened that was worth $22 million of silence. After all, even at Neverland Ranch two plus two equals four. Michael spent nearly two decades living in a bubble of isolation that would rival that of the British Royal Family. His face became a case study for young plastic surgeons in what not to do. His skin pigmentation had vanished completely (allegedly due to vitiligo) but more likely due to an obsessive regimen of facial treatments. He dangled his own baby over a screaming crowd in Europe evidently unaware of gravity’s persistence. All rumors or allegations aside, this guy was still nuttier than squirrel shit.

Now that Michael Jackson has died the press has had a field day. The guy’s been dead for nearly two weeks and every day since his death the news outlets have talked of little else. The truely disgusting aspect to all of this is the hypocrisy. It seems lately that everyone and his mom have been eulogizing Michael Jackson as a musical genius and an icon of an era. These same people are the ones who have ridiculed and vilified him during his many scandals over the years. It’s pathetic that dying is the best thing some celebrities can do to bolster their public image. It seems the press and the public at large simply can’t stop talking about Michael Jackson.  I don’t get it. What’s the deal? Sure he was a famous entertainer with a scandalicious past, but is he worth two weeks of headlines? Congress has approved another steaming pile of legislation that will cripple the U.S. economy for decades to come, fighting in Afghanistan has reached a fever pitch, North Korea is testing more missiles to compensate for Kim Jong Il’s deep psychological insecurities, and all the press can talk about is Michael Jackson. He is the most famous corpse in the world right now. If Billboard were to chart corpses, Michael Jackson would be at number one, followed by Billy Mays at number two, and Farah coming in at three. The headlines surrounding his death are far from over. The vultures in the news media are hovering over Jackson’s corpse just waiting for the next headline. However, most people out here in the real world don’t give a crap about Michael Jackson. He’s dead. Bury him. Move on.